KILL YOUR GODZ

Batcheeba Interview
by TheeBradMiller

Beginning with  low rumbling analog synth into waves of cascading cold damp distant machinery… the musick literally breathes,  you can hear it breathe, you can feel it breathe…  just when you feel your self drowning in this lush soundscape… the faint echoing sound of Batcheeba voice softly speaks to you.  Her voice is cold.  Emotionless…the swirling, cascading sounds continue to envelope you…   The song is “Those Without Skin”.  It graced the “Because God Told Me To Do It: Implantation“, and was one of the tracks that I frequently received emails about.

Somehow Batcheeba speaks to you though her music, visit her MySpace page, or hit her Last FM page.  Through some magickal power, Batcheeba speaks to you through her musick.

According to her own write up  Batcheeba is/has been using “Tape loops and experimenting with sound as a child, ridden with insomnia, not knowing it would lead to music much later on.”  Batcheeba is a sound manipulator.  She is a soundscape creator.  Her musick can be reminiscent of Coil, or Chris and Cosey, Lustmord….  Her projects don’t stop with her work as Batcheeba, she is also involved with Cult Of Twins, Grid_09, Krafft, and Bob And Laura’s Jazz Sensation, as well as participating in the upcoming SLEEPCHAMBER TRIBUTE release, and contributing to KILL YOUR GODZ.

TBM: The first track by Batcheeba I ever heard was “Forward Foetus”.  It begins with the line “I’m in so much pain that’s I’d rather be shot, whipped to death… ” .  Throughout the song you hear a voice plea for understanding…  while you intone to journey inside…  I have played it many times trying to feel precisely where Batcheeba is coming from.  It’s a tremendous track… and since it’s the first thing I had ever heard, let’s start there… tell me about “Forward Foetus”.
BATCHEEBA: Forward Foetus.. ..Whenever I listen to my tracks I wonder what the fuck is going on inside my head. I will sit there and wonder why I made it and how. I seldom remember anything from the process besides the idea itself. I do remember saying the lyrics over and over in my head for some time, and I was thinking about the idea on a reversed birth. The foetus returning to mother. The lyrics: “Forward foetus, follow the pain, follow the screams, forward foetus, force your way through, never die.” Giger has a sketch called “Return to mother” I think, and the idea is so interesting. I have this intense urge to cause pain to the female who gave birth to me. And I have an equally intense need for that female to love me. Maybe ripping her open and crawling back inside her would make the pain go away? I doubt it.
Hah.
The sample at the beginning is someone living with a form of epilepsy and he is explaining how it is affecting his life. I love that sample I identify with it. I found it online somewhere. He has no idea that someone got so inspired by his experience, so moved. It makes me happy thinking about it. His suffering gave me pleasure, Inspiration. It’s magic: A gift.
I used to work with children with autism and epilepsy and I identify with their world a lot of the time. It is important for me to explain that I am very interested in beauty. Most people only see pain, suffering and bad shit in my sounds. If pain is your life, then you learn to see beauty in the macabre. I don’t fear it. I deal with it. Work it into my system. Forward foetus is a catharsis. A love story.

TBM: I think you’re on to something…  I just emailed the following statement to someone… “I am sometimes disappointed with my ability to just cope… and wish that I could just enjoy life.  But at times, I think pulling from my inner gloom enables me to see the world a bit differently.”  You said “catharsis” referring to yourself… but I think it is therapeutic for the listener as well.  Certainly, bringing harm to the one that birthed you is pulled from your own “inner gloom”.  In that sense you have created an aural retribution.  The mother “theme” is one that you approach often.  Is this retribution?
BATCHEEBA: Retribution. Interesting word. Difficult question. I am a child and I am an adult at the same time. I’ve tried screaming at her. That did not change anything. Screaming to strangers via my music helps. I can distance myself from them, and I can be skinless at the same time. Try picking the skin off someone who is already bleeding. Good fucking luck.
Aural retribution?  On some level, out in space, in the middle of the night maybe it can reach her? That is the child’s way of thinking. I recognize that. The track “mother” was made after the last time is visited her. There are so many experiences we as humans go through, and I long for the right words to describe them. To share the experience with everyone. It is impossible. Nothing says “raped and gutted” like samples from a rusted machine. If a sound can make you feel anything close to what I feel, I have created a connection. A conversation. without all the bullshit. I react. You react. That is communication. It can’t be faked. It is instant. It’s uncomplicated. If someone understands and recognize my feelings on some level, I feel fulfilled. If I can give anything like say Coil gives me to a total stranger, I can die a happy human being. Imagine that. It takes my breath away.

TBM: That is the wondrous thing about art.  How it can touch the listener.  And I think that’s Batcheeba’s strong point.  I feel you through the musick.  I am not always clear on the intent, but I can feel the emotion.  Your track on the “Because God Told Me To Do It” comp was titled “Those Without Skin”, The music puts me in a very melancholy state. The lyrics are indecipherable, but given your last statement, I wonder if it is autobiographical.
BATCHEEBA: Thank you for those kind words. And again thank you for giving me the time and attention over at “Because God Told Me To Do It!”  I get that a lot…people tell me they get a physical and/or mental reaction to my music. I can’t explain why that happens. But it does. And that makes me so happy. Maybe I tap into forgotten memories, hidden secrets, wounds that won’t heal. Humans long for understanding. To have their pain understood and recognized. I had a period in my life when I was suffering from severe psychosis and I believed I could see into people’s minds. Recovering as I am, I will never fully understand if that was a mental disturbance, of I have some magical powers. I know it sounds crazy. However you want to see it, I understand people on a level most others don’t. I feel their pain. They let me see it. I have been working with schizophrenic people the last 2.5 years and “Those without skin” is very much influenced by what I see and hear everyday in my job. The amount of suffering one single human can go through, is so overpowering at times. There are days I have to lean against the wall for a few minutes to stop myself from crying. The way mentally insane people are treated is a disgrace. But there is no way I can heal them. Part of the lyric goes “how can you take away the pain from those who have nothing” If pain is all you have, all you know, then who am I to try to take that away? Autobiographical? Very much so. Every track is about me. In every creative product one leaves a trace of self behind. An invisible signature, a portrait for others to study. I reveal everything in my music for those willing to listen. But if the same person tried to touch me face to face, I would defend my self with violence. Tap into my vibe any time, but tap me on the shoulder in a dark alleyway and I will stab you. Look now I’ve made my self all aggressive. Hah!

TBM: Why the name Batcheeba?
BATCHEEBA: I took the name Batcheeba many years ago after reading about Bathcheba, mother of King Salomon and wife of high king David. I changed the letters in the name so it would be more personal. To this day I still haven’t seen a picture or an article with the name Batcheeba that does not relate to me. Batsheba first child dies and is a result of rape, and back in the days I used the signature “mother of dead child” (more here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bathsheba) Again, to me the story about David and Batcheba is a beautiful love story, but to some it may seem brutal. David loved her; he killed her husband Uriah so that he could have her. Love is not always pretty and uncomplicated. And certainly not always fair. It is a wonderful name. And the mythology is complex. (Solomon was said to have written the Legemeton – a collection of medieval and post medieval grimoires) I remember hearing the name for the first time 20 years ago in the Pixies track “Dead” from Doolittle: “You crazy babe Bathsheba, I wancha, you’re suffocating you need a good shed, I’m tired of living Shebe, so gimme Dead” Thinking about those lyrics now, I think I remembered it as: “You need a good shag” Hah.  Either way it really hit me, and it has stuck with me all these years. A nickname if you will, holds great meaning to me. It’s not just some fancy name or word to post on the net to impress people. It should mean something. I feel closer to that name than my birth name. It pisses me off when people change their nick twice a week to fit the new and kool thing that is happening in the so called “underground” Wankers. Every word you say and think is magic. Magic is not some grand ritual, its everyday life. So choose wisely. Everything affects your world and being. Even a simple thing as a “nickname”

TBM: Oh, god… you’re going to get me in trouble with the entire industrial culture… but I loved the Pixies CD “Doolittle”.    “Dead” is brilliant, “uriah hit the crapper, the crapper…”  There goes my my cred.   I love what you’re saying though.  Words matter.  They are magick, and it is best to cover ones self sufficiently when picking words.  Even then… it may not be enough.  Do use magick as a belief system?
BATCHEEBA: I am at war with the “post industrial scene”.  This is a well known fact for anyone who reads my blog, my reviews over at Heathen Harvest, or talk to me in person. I use all of my creative being to express that a huge amount of the post industrial scene consists of brainless posers, who would not fight for anything or anyone if someone put a gun to their head. These people are suffocating the life our of a counter culture, replacing it with over the counter culture. Dressing up in expensive shit from whatever fetish/goth/industrial online store does not give you intent, strength, force or self respect. I used to DJ, I used to run a club with mates, we booked huge names. It turned into a carnival for those who like to pretend to be someone they are not. Fuck them. Fuck the scene. Listen: people can do whatever the fuck they want, but I demand intent and awareness. Someone can take a shit in my bed, and as long they explain their ethical and moral reasons for doing so, I will shake that persons hand and respect him/her.
Industrial is not a fashion statement, it is not a label. I’ve lost a lot for stating this. And I feel nothing but relief. I’d rather stand alone.
To anyone reading this: Do you feel offended? Did I piss you off? Good. You’re welcome. Now go use that anger to create something personal and meaningful. Does reading this makes you dislike me? Does it create distance? Good. I will use my last breath of air to maintain that distance. Your resentment feed my pride. I found a quote once and I can’t for the life of me remember where or who stated it: “All acts of conformity, however minor, is damnable, all acts of rebellion, however futile, is glorious”.
Important: I have found a lot of people in my life and online whom I deeply respect and think of as my close friends. There is a silent understanding. I will go to great lengths to protect and help these people. They are family.
As to your question about magick as a belief system. I don’t have a belief system. I don’t even have a system. Hah! The closest thing to a belief system is chaos magic. I thrive on chaos and grow from it. I have close friends who are very much involved with various belief systems and they offer me advice and cleansing whenever I need that. We have a huge collection of occult books, I use it all to shape my way forward. To keep me awake and aware. I can’t stand apathy. Like I said earlier: Every word you use will affect you, every action you perform will shape your future. Don’t just think about it. Live it. Never regret anything. If you fuck up or fall on your face, then embrace it. Don’t run away from issues and problems. Take a deep breath and plough your self right into the middle of it. Split it open. Force your way through. And when you open your eyes you will be amazed at what you see. Whoa. Now that my friend, is magic.

TBM: Batcheeba is not your only outlet.  You mentioned Heathen Harvest where you write reviews, but musically you are also involved in some form or another with Cult Of Twins, FRzo with Gird_09, and Krafft.  In fact FRzo even has a track on “Because God Told Me To Do It”, “Sinkhole”.  Can we expect your continued involvement with these projects?
BATCHEEBA: I would drive my self up the walls if I only had one project to focus on! All of the projects are very different and I get to use different sides of myself. We sat working on a new track for Frzo yesterday actually…That was not the intention mind you! We have yet another project in the making called “Mercury Neon”, an old school trance project, and we were going to work on a track for that, but ended up working on a track for Frzo…that happens a lot. You start with one idea and it ends in a completely different direction. Wonderful. Love it!
Frzo is a weird project….We were at a broken down factory at night a couple of years back. We were there to collect sounds and ended up having an improvised “concert” if you will, for anyone listening or walking by. One of the machines there had the name Frzo, and that marked the birth of the project. We had another live event at an island last summer with a huge bonfire, engraving the COT-rune (<-o-> Cult OF Twins) in stone. Again for anyone listening. For the crows or the fish. It’s not important knowing who listened. We are doing it again this summer, it is very cleansing. The Grey Wolves wrote us a while back and wanted the track for a compilation and expressed interest in a Norwegian compilation in the future…It didn’t happen and I doubt it will. Cult Of Twins came to life during a very intense period, and no new material will be added. The Cult Of Twins lives on. It’s an idea more than a musical project, and we still use the name in several forms of creative outlets.
Krafft is me and Andreas Brandal. We had this really creative period where we would send stuff back and forth via email and work on it and then send it back…Andreas is very creative and I owe him for pushing me forward. I remember he told me: “Ok so you know how to make this work. Now do something completely different” And I was like WTF is he on about…but it stuck in my head and one day I sat down and did something totally out there, and it opened up a whole new world to me. I still to this day live by that advice and share it with others. I don’t see any new Krafft material in the near future though. We are both so busy doing out own things and both have several projects. But I am very fond of Krafft. We had a blast. We had one live gig and Andreas had to more or less drag me on stage. I HATE being on stage and I HATE performing in front of an audience. They expect something of you. They have already made up their minds you know. Hate it. I’ve turned down several offers to play with people. And I am shy. So there!
Besides music I paint a lot. Painting is like my second love. And I am having my first solo exhibition this year. I ran my own promo studio for quite a few years, making cd-covers, flyers and posters, and doing photography. Decided it took too much time so I ended it 2 years ago. Still do some cover work now and then. I did the Pogrom Synod cover for Syphilosophy.
That was a lot of information. Are your eyes bleeding?

TBM: Nope, my eyes aren’t what’s bleeding.  Tell me about the track “Sinkhole”. It’s special to me, appearing on the “Because God Told Me To Do It” release, and one of the early tracks I received.  What is the concept of the track?

BATCHEEBA: Sinkhole.  After that session at the run down factory, we discovered that all the sounds we had recorded had been deleted by some glitch (mind the glitch!) I did not want to go back to record all over again for two reasons: 1: redoing anything ruins everything. That is how I work… lyrics, ideas putting together samples. One take. If it does not work I will do something completely different. Whatever comes out of my head is what I will use. It is total chaos but it works.
2: Zombies. Hah! Seriously, that factory had a massive hole in the ground, leading down to the gods know what!  It was freaking me out. Weird sounds came out of that hole and I have seen too many horror flicks to go back. I might be crazy, but I do have some sense to me
So with no sounds to work with from the factory we decided to work with the vibe and the experience. To experiment with Jungian occult methods. We wanted it to be an inner journey. Deeper. Deeper. To go beyond our consciousness and let whatever down there deep inside, guide us. A sinkhole will not let you know the ground beneath you is about to collapse. There is no warning or time to prepare. It’s a very fitting metaphor for life itself. And while you are down there in that black inner pit, take a look around. We humans have this instinctive urge to crawl back up by any means, as fast as possible. If the ground under your feet caves in, and you fall 50 meters down into a black abyss, wouldn’t it make sense to stick around and try to figure out _why_ it happened? How? Maybe then you can have the knowledge and experience to prevent it from happening again, or at least know how to deal with it the next time it happens. I am afraid of the dark, and will avoid being alone in the dark at all costs. The right think to do then, is to go into the dark alone. We didn’t have the guts to go down that massive black hole in the ground at the factory, but I did have the courage to journey deep inside my own black hole. We worked intuitively with little verbal communication. It was a very intense session. It was over in a very short period of time. I’d say an hour or so. But in fact it never ended. I am still on that journey. Exploring.

TBM: Ok, I ask this of everyone…  I think it’s instructive to see where we came from musically. What is the first CD/LP/Cassette/8 track that you bought?  And then, beyond that… who have been musically the biggest influence on Batcheeba?
BATCHEEBA: Oh good question. I didn’t have the money to buy CD’s, so I borrowed from friends. I copied CD’s to tape and I listened to the tapes until the reel tore, and then I taped it back together. I still have some of those tapes. The first CD I bought was “Never mind the bollocks” by the Sex Pistols I think. Biggest influence? There is no easy answer to that question. I grew up with an older brother who listened to Zappa, Doors, Bowie, Floyd and Norwegian punk rock. And I would sit in his room listening with him. The girls I knew didn’t listen to the same stuff. I guess some things never change. Then I grew older and I was looking for something in music, but I couldn’t find it. I wanted something that would have a huge impact on me. I remember very vividly the first times that happened. I was sitting talking with someone in my room the year I attended a Folk High school. This magnificent noise suddenly tore through the walls and I thought someone was tearing down a building or something. It turned out it was the weird girl down the hall cleaning her flat while listening to Diamanda Galas. I was 17 years old. Second time was the first time I heard Munch.  Blew me away. Munch is the first Norwegian industrial band, and if you don’t know about them you really must look into them!  Munch is one of my top 10 bands.(http://www.last.fm/music/Munch) Then as I grew older one band let to another and started my love affair with industrial, dark ambient, neo folk, old school goth, noise and so on. My taste is so varied and I am influenced by so many fantastic musicians the list is too long. The most surprising thing for most people is my love for Hank Williams. It doesn’t get much darker than Hank. Such as “I don’t care if tomorrow never comes” and “I’ll never get out if this world alive”. Love it. Darkness!

TBM: Will we see a “new” complete Batcheeba collection in the near future?  What other items of interest do you have in store for an unsuspecting world?!?!?!?!?
BATCHEEBA: To answer your question, new complete Batcheeba collection….You know…I have no idea what will happen to my music. Honestly, attention makes me feel severely ill, and at the same time I enjoy it a great deal. This interview has
stirred up a lot of things inside me. I really wish I didn’t have all this creativity. It’s a curse really. It’s not something I choose, I have to do this cuz if I don’t I will go completely nuts. It’s constant struggle inside my head. I can honestly tell you I  HATE every track I’ve ever made, and 4 times a week I state to my self I will never make music ever again. Ever. Then I change my mind. It’s such a headfuck! There are so many things I want to do, and there is never enough time. It’s is so frustrating. It freaks me out thinking about all the music out there I will never discover before I die. Imagine another Sigillum S kinda project you will never  get to experience. Horrible. What the future hold for Batcheeba…all I can tell you is I will
make music. And I will share it with anyone who wants to listen. I would love to work with some of the artists I am so inspired by. As a tribute, to pay them back for saving my life so many times. I am so thankful for being part of the Sleepchamber tribute. I can’t kiss John on the forehead and say thank you in person, but I can give him my deepest respects through my cover. Means the world to me. I am deeply moved. I will continue to be a slap in the face of apathy. I will never stop screaming at people. The freedom we know is based on revolution and violence, some rules must be broken to gain justice. Never forget that. And If you fall asleep, I will wake you up. That is a promise. Love – Batcheeba.

I will dig deeper. And you may not follow.

Batcheeba MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/batcheebalyd

Batcheeba Last FM: http://www.last.fm/music/batcheeba

Cult Of Twins MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/cultoftwins

FRZo MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/frz0

Grid_09 MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/gird09

Grid_09 Last FM: http://www.last.fm/music/Gird_09